So There's This Kid...

Every year, my husband can count on me coming home from work at least one time throughout the year and starting a conversation by saying, "So there's this kid at school," and ending it with a comment like: "He needs a new pair of shoes," or "She needs a new backpack," and sometimes even, "I told (insert student's name here) that we have a futon if s/he needs a safe place to sleep tonight." My husband has always been supportive of these requests. But you see, last year my request was a little different. There was "this kid", and he needed a home - a family - and for some crazy reason, I thought our family might just be the right one. 

"This kid" joined my Honors Freshman English class a few weeks into the school year after being placed in foster care. He was a smart, polite, hard working young man. Everyday he was one of the last kids out of the classroom. He always said thank you and told me to have a good day. I didn't know what it was about him, but something deep down told me that he had a future ahead of him IF he had the right adults in his life.  A year ago, on the last day of school, I gave "this kid" my school business card with my phone number on it. I told him to call me and keep me updated on his summer and his status in foster care. 

On July 4th, 2016, he called me. Now this may not seem like a big deal, but I was headed to the lake, in a car loaded with presents, cake, and food for my youngest son, our firecracker baby who was turning three. As I answered the phone, I was greeted by a familiar voice - it was "this kid" who went on to tell me about his summer, to apologize for not getting in touch with me sooner, and to tell me that his mom had terminated her rights as a parent. Back. The. Truck. Up. Here I was, on the phone with a fifteen-year-old boy who was now an orphan. It nearly knocked the wind out of me. It took everything that I had not to turn around and drive back to town to go get him. I was in car full of presents for my son, and on the phone was a boy whose mom walked away from him. I can't imagine how scary it was for him to have a future of so many unknowns.

From that day forth, my husband and I researched what it would take to become foster-parents. We called and added our names to his list of people. We were told that he was in permanent care. Surprisingly, we were a little heart-broken. And then, the day before I went back to work last August, we got a call about "this kid" - were we still interested in helping him? Ten days later, "this kid" was safe and under our roof and the journey began. We talked to family and friends. We attended TIPS-MAPPS classes. We fixed our home so that it could be approved by DCF. We re-certified our CPR/First Aid trainings. We filled out form after form. Nearly six months later, we received our permanent foster-care license. It is all a little foggy now, but we were supported every step of the way from our workers at St. Francis. We accomplished in six months what most families accomplish in over a year. We were tired to our bones, but he was worth it. So there's "this kid" who used to call me Mrs. Neill, but now it's just mom.

Nothing about this really made sense at the time. We had two little boys. We always thought we'd do this after they were grown. We were very involved with our jobs, community, and church. We were busy. But we had a home. We had the income to do it. We had an extra bedroom. We had knowledge about working with kids. We had love to give. It wasn't perfect, and it hasn't always been easy; however, I guarantee that we have given "this kid" -- who will someday be "our kid" with our last name -- a safe place to call home.

So yeah, there's "this kid", and he calls us mom and dad. We get to cheer him on in cross country and track. We get to check his grades and his phone. We get to teach him how to drive. We get to love him as our own. Our two youngest sons have a built-in big brother. I'd say we are all pretty lucky to have found each other.

Never look past "that kid" in your classroom.  You may end up being more than just a teacher to him/her. Someday, "that kid" could become "your kid." For us, that happened on July 4th, 2016, and we are so thankful.

***Update: at 9:55 on July 3rd 2017, we received a call that we were officially approved in the Best Interest Staffing meeting to adopt our son. Yep, God's timing is perfect.  Always.
***In January 2018, our family became an official family of FIVE!

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There are so many ways that educators can help children in foster care, and the need is there. Please call your local agency to inquire if you have questions about how to help "that kid" in your class. If you aren't an educator, but you have the means to help I'd also encourage you to do so. The need for good foster homes is at an all-time high. This doesn't necessarily mean that you have to open your home to foster a child - but going the extra mile for that child could make all the difference in the world. Options such as CASA, respite care, and CarePortals are out there, and every bit helps.  (Feel free to get in touch with me via Twitter @SJNeill13).