When "I Can't" Becomes "I Can If You Help Me"

Three years ago, I started a journey to learn about authentic reading and the lack thereof in my classroom. I knew that my students were not reading. As a student 20 years ago, I passed many of my high school and college classes as a fake reader - only doing what I had to do to comprehend the text enough to participate in discussion, write an essay, or take a test. It wasn't that I struggled with reading. It was almost more of a game to me that I could pass tests with As and Bs without reading. Yeah, I was one of THOSE students.

This journey introduced me to authors like Pernille Ripp, Kelly Gallagher, Donalyn Miller and Penny Kittle. And you know what -- all of these authors had one thing in common. They believed through their experiences in the classroom that the one way to create authentic readers was to actually put books in students' hands and let them experience reading. Yes, reading during the class period -- such a novel idea (pun intended)! This is not lazy planning. It is not lackadaisical teaching. We would expect a football coach to run pass plays to help his athletes know when to make their cut up the field. We would expect a choir or band teacher to have students singing and playing their instruments during class to improve their skills, yet many teachers would say that they have too much content to cover to provide students time to read in class. I have to talk myself off the proverbial social media cliff every time I hear teachers list reasons for not giving students opportunities to read in class. We model what we expect. If we expect students to read, we must provide time and model what authentic reading looks like. They will rarely do it on their own.

One of my other realizations on this journey is that reading takes many different forms. Many students are great readers and can read silently. Some students like to be read to in a larger group setting. Some students like to read aloud with a partner so that they can discuss what they are reading as they go. And some students (more than you would think) benefit from listening to an audiobook. 

So today, as I was walking across the hallway to my classroom one of my students who recognized his strength as an audio-reader stopped me. He was nervous about the book he was reading in his Jr./Sr. level class. He said, "You know that I struggled to read last year until I started listening to books. I am struggling to understand this book, and I can't find an audio version that is free." He then said some of the most treasured words that a teacher could ever hear: "Can you help me?"

This is what teachers live for, am I right? For a student to come to see us, to advocate for himself, to recognize how he learns best, and to see the potential he has as a learner. This is why the learning in our classrooms has to meet the needs of our students. This is why we need to allow our students to try as many learning mediums as possible until they find a way that works for them. Finding the right medium for reading allowed my former student to build up some confidence in himself and to realize that he can learn. Call me crazy, but my hopes are that someday, meeting the needs of each student is just what we do -- not because an IEP, 504, or SIT plan tells us to do this, but because it is what's best for kids. Sometime, over the course of a year, this student invested in himself. It was amazing to watch "I can't" become "I can if you help me." This is why we teach.

I Love You, Too!

“Students don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

—John C. Maxwell, American author and leadership expert

I have never been much of a hugger. In past years, the sentence "I love you" did not roll easily off of my tongue. As a young teacher, I was taught to make sure that there was a clear line drawn in the classroom. So, I mastered the one-armed hug, the high-five, and the fist bump. 

And as most of my stories go, there was this kid...

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was walking down our long hallway, and then I heard it. It was a phrase I wasn't sure how to respond to. Definitely not something I learned about in my teaching classes. This student said, "I love you, Mrs. Neill." I'll be honest. I didn't know what to do or say, so I said, "thank you." Wowza. Thank you? How lame was that?

Many students have gone days, weeks, months, and sadly even years without hearing "I love you." And when this student said, "I love you, Mrs. Neill," I hesitated. But you see, I do love my students. I love them like my own children. I also know that my students, my children, are often hurting. This student in particular was very genuine when he said, "I love you" - he meant it. Why was it so hard for me to say it back?

I cannot begin to count how much I think about the power of my words. I know how authentic they must be. The must be safe. They must be affirming. They must be encouraging. They can never be forced, for you cannot kid a kidder. Words like:

• I am so happy you are here!
• I missed you while you were gone.
• You are so important to this class.
• I'm listening.
• I'm sorry.

I am intentional about these messages. When students walk into my classroom, I study their body language and posture. I look to see if a student changes seats from the day before and what may have caused that change. I try to figure out what it is that students need to hear so that they have the confidence to put their thoughts into writing. I work to foster a classroom environment that thrives on discussion and collaboration. I do these things because I believe that they just as important as the content I teach. 

And so now, when this student says, "I love you Mrs. Neill," I can say, without hesitation, "I love you, too." And I mean it. I often hear my colleagues say the same thing to students as they leave their classes. I think about how many colleagues have hugged me in the last week and told me they loved me. We are a family. We have created a place that is safe to take chances, to fail, and to get back up and try our best again until we succeed. Every student and teacher should be so lucky.

I love you, too -- these words cost me nothing. However, to this student, who has taught me more than any book ever could, those words may be just what he needs to hear. And I would be lying if I said that I didn't need to hear it, too.