Painful Silence

Today, my ears hurt, but it wasn't from loud music -- it was from the deafening silence that filled the room in one of my classes. *Cue Simon and Garfunkel's "Sound of Silence": "Hello darkness my old friend...*  We were supposed to be discussing "The Lottery" by Shirley Jackson. This is a great story that causes readers to think about the traditions in which we participate.  Are they healthy traditions?  Are they traditions that lift others up or tear others down?  Do we just keep doing things because it is the way we've always done them, or because these actions are what is best for ourselves and those around us?  I LOVE the ideas this story brings forth, so naturally I was very excited to hear what my students had to say about this story.  I remember reading this story as a freshman.  I remember being stunned at the end -- such a juxtaposition of ideas.  I know the aspects that I love about this story, but I wanted this discussion to be student led.  This class discussion was going to be awesome, right!?

WRONG! Oh, you could hear a pin drop. I have carpeted floors in my classroom, so you can only imagine how quiet it was during our discussion.  We spent a day preparing for this. I provided open-ended prompts for our Socratic Seminar, so my students would simply have to pull discussion topics from ideas they had already thought about. Again, this should be awesome, right!?  And then, crickets.  It was painful watching these students who I love so dearly struggle through a discussion that should be so fun, so passionate. I had about three students participating, and even they were hesitating because they felt like they were doing ALL the talking. First, I was mad. Then, I felt my stubbornness set in: "By golly they were going to discuss and they were going to like it! My other hours were doing a great job, we just need to suck it up and start talking!" Finally, my brain said, "Hey teacher, THIS ISN'T WORKING." So, we stopped. Part of me thinks that I had to quickly work through the stages of grief to let go of this idea - I was so looking forward to hearing their thoughts.

I went to the board, and I wrote four questions down:
1.  Do you feel safe enough to participate in class discussion?
2.  Why is class discussion an important activity for you, as a student?
3.  Why do you hesitate to share in discussion?
4.  What can Mrs. Neill do to help this class discuss literature we are reading?

I asked students to email me. I frequently stress the importance of communication in class, so this worked right into my message. What I didn't realize is that by doing this, it allowed them to share what they think/struggle with/ like about class discussion and even about themselves personally. All said they felt safe. (Yay & phew all at the same time).  Many shared how much they like discussion, but they wished others would share their ideas.  Many shared about fear of failure. Many shared that they struggle to get the words out the way they want them to sound. A few said they feel like they don't have many good ideas.  Some even talked about the anxiety/pain that class discussion causes them. (Those responses made my heart hurt.)  So tomorrow, we will do something different. It is 10:00 at night, and I have no idea what this will look like, but it WILL look different than today. It will be an awesome discussion; I just have to find the right medium.

Oh, and on a positive note, I was able to respond to each email, personally. I was able to give students individual feedback and show them empathy. The idea to have them email worked better than I could have imagined. Tomorrow, I hope that painful silence has left my classroom and collaborative thinking begins.  

***Update:  I used Google Docs as our medium for discussion.  I created a table with three columns: Name/ Observation/Questions from Text/ Discussion.  Students chose a color for their font, and after each comment they would change the text to that color and put their names at the end of the comment.  TEN PAGES LATER, we ended discussion for today!  It was fun to watch it come together! S/O to @JasonKohls for sharing an idea a few months ago that I could modify to work for my class!